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But, generation aside, if he shows interest then he's definitely digging your vibe.Civilities is a new column in The Washington Post covering LGBT and straight etiquette.I think it’s what makes gay men so beautiful but also troubling.I guess if we were completely self-assured, we would just be straight men who had sex with men.A wavering confidence is part of our culture, and of course, I’d like to keep working on mine. Are you in your 40's and dating (or wanting to date) someone who is 20 years younger than you?

While it’s true that some of us find the man of our dreams after 60, the majority of women that I have spoken to are deeply skeptical of this approach.From the moment you realize as a gay man who you are, whether it's a challenging process or not, you know (maybe subconsciously) that a lot of the world hates you. I wasn’t bullied that badly, and my parents were cool, but deep down I knew I was hated.I knew it was harder for me to get what I wanted, and a lot of that was self-inflicted. What I was doing in my early 20s, by dating older men, was showing myself that maybe there was hope.Is it really realistic to believe that we will find a 65-year old man that dresses well, is financially independent and who loves spending time at the gym?If we really want these things, maybe it’s time for us to take a page from their book and turn the dial on our dating profile back a decade.

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The 20-something gays are more bold, more aggressive and much more self-aware than previous generations.

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